I Just Thought You Were the One

You know that moment when you think everything's perfect and really going well, then something happens. Things were going well and in just one snap, we lost it all. Our two years became nothing. I died a thousand deaths because I never thought I'd lose you. I never thought we'd end just like that.

I loved you so much, and that was the only thing that kept me going. That's the purest part of me. But I lost that, too.

We were so happy before. Every moment that I'm with you felt like home. You complete me in every way, and I still remember every single thing about you. I still remember the way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you kissed me, the way you held me in your arms.  I remember how we argued about the little things but when we looked at each other, we can't help but just laugh about the reason we fought.

I remember our late night talks, when we used to discuss the future of our future kids. I remember how you cried and told me not to leave you and me to be yours only and that you're so lucky to have me. I remember everything. I know I will never forget.

You made me feel alive. You made me feel something that I never felt before. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, nothing can take that away from. Not even myself.

I made you my world. I focused on you. I gave you everything. I gave you two years of my life. I was devoted to you. I gave you the universe. I loved you. But those things were never enough for you. You never saw me. You never saw the sacrifices I made for you, for us. You never saw how I accepted your mistakes and flaws over and over again. I never gave up on you.

But just this once, I will because I really cannot take it anymore. It's too much, too much for me to bear, too much for me to accept. You only loved me when everything's perfect. You only loved me because you know I won't go. I used to think that I can't live without you.  I became so destructive. I can't even see my worth, until now. I can't forgive myself for ruining who I am. I lost it all. But I am trying, really trying hard to put myself back together.

Thank you for making me the strongest and toughest version of myself.

I want to thank you for everything. You lit up my life. Thank you for making me the strongest and toughest version of myself. You made me who I am today. I still cry, but I know I can do this. Our relationship did not last for long but I am thankful it happened and that we had it. I want you to remember that you'll always have a special place in my heart, no one can ever take your place. I am thankful that you came into my life. I won't regret anything, everything. I loved you, I love you, I will always love you. And I wish you all the happiness in life.

Letting Go....

Letting go of someone who means so much to you is painful. It will break your heart. You'll cry yourself almost every night until you fall asleep. You wake up in the morning hoping the pain will just leave you alone.

It is sad to know that the person you used to know so well just isn't there anymore.x

The person who became your inspiration to fulfill your dreams isn't around to see you succeed and fulfill them. The person listened to you even you talked nonsense and spent hours on the phone exchanging text messages even when it's late at night and the one who will call you and sometimes sing his favorite songs to you over the phone is nowhere now.

I hate myself because I miss him. I miss those times when he told me everything, his whereabouts, his gigs, where he was at the moment. I miss the old times when I was still the one who could make him smile the biggest and laugh the loudest. I spent years and years hoping that someday we will end up together. That soon he will tell me that I am the one he needs and loves.

I waited for something to happen, but there was nothing. x

My heart got tired of waiting. It's just now that I realize what I was to him. And now that I know, I can finally let go of the drama I've brought myself. I must move forward and continue my life without him. I choose to finally let go of him because there is nothing to hold on to anymore. He left me hanging and confused. I could not ask for closure.

Someday, I am hoping that I could find a man who will value my worth and my time, who sees me and is afraid to lose me. Now I am ready to face the future and move on with my life without him. My heart and my mind are now open for what lies ahead. It's ready to forget the past heartaches and move on.

Why do I love You?

Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you and then ask myself why?
Why do I love you? I think and smile,
because I know the list could run on for miles.

The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,
So many little things that make me love you so..

The way you support me, and help with my emotions,
The way that you care and show such devotion
The way that you kiss, fills me with desire.
And how you told me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me,
Lost with you forever is where I want to be.

The way that I feel when you’re by my side,
A sense of completion and overflowing pride.
The dreams that I dream, that all involve you
The possibilities I see and the things we can do.
How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,

How that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,
But all you really must know is my love for you
Is true and real....

My Love For You....

The Bit by bit and day by day
In such a special lovely way
Do not know why or how to say
But I shall try to... If I may.

And thus I shall try to explain
That despite heavy pouring rain
In times of sorrow and of pain
My love for you was not in vain.

When I was down and even sad
If I felt angry rather mad
If I was in tears feeling bad
My love for you I did not dread.

I was insulted even mocked
My same own life I feel was blocked
The doubts that came and often knocked
My love for you was safely locked.

Until the day you came to me
The love in me you did not see
Without you dear how could I be?
My love for you I could not free.

And yet you know I still love you
A love that's strong and oh so true
Wher'ver you go wher'ver to
My love for you will follow too.....

You Are My Forever Love

Your friendship and love,
And all the wonderful things
That they bring into my life,
Are like nothing else
I have ever known.

My heart is complete
With the love we share,
And our love grows more
Beautiful each day.

I love you,
And as long as we are together,
I have everything I need.
You are with me always...

In a smile, a memory, a feeling
Or a moment we share.
You will always be
My Forever Love

You and I

You and I are connected
In a way that goes beyond romance,
Beyond friendship,
Beyond what we've ever had before.

It has defied time, distance,
And changes in ourselves and in our lives.
It has defied every explanation.
Except one:

Pure and simply, we're soul mates.
I can't explain, I just feel it.
It's there in the way my spirits lift
Whenever we talk.

The sound of your voice brings me home,
In a way I can't explain.
It's in the delight I feel, when we laugh
At exactly the same things.

When I'm with you,
It's like a tiny piece of the universe shifts into place.
A place it's supposed to be,
And all is right with the world.


These things and so many more,
Have made me understand
That this is a once in a lifetime forever connection.
A connection that could only exist between you and me.

And deep in my soul,
I know that our relationship is a rare gift.
One that brings us extraordinary happiness
All through our lives.

Kiss in the Wind

I know what your eyes are looking for
It was not me, I know.
I know what your dreams are.
I won't play a part in them, will I?

As much as I wanted to have something in there, in us, truth is... there isn't
I'm afraid we can't be the way we used to.
I love you, and oh how I want to say this to you,
But I know you... you'll tell me "I'm sorry, I wish I am too."

You left without saying anything
And I haven't even realized you're already gone.
How I'd love to be with you but you're holding a new hand beside you now
I felt a strong feeling of breaking inside, I'm so jealous she has you.

Maybe I would forget you someday
And it's the wisest thing to do.
I will kiss the wind for you I wish it delivers the warmest love to you.
I wish you happiness and I hope the same for me too.

Why Am I still Hurting????

I wrote this not because I am angry, nor do I want to make you feel guilty, but because I am hurt. We have not talked to each other for months, and  it feels like my soul is mute. It feels like it has been locked up in a dark, cold, prison cell waiting to be released. I'm hurt and still hurting for things have not ended well between us. I thought we could be friends, And for that, I am hurt.

It's true what people say that love comes when you least expect  it because you did. When we  became friends on Tagged  and from then on we  began to talk almost everyday , days and nights. From messaging and seeing each other everyday thru cam, which eventually quickly escalated to an intimate close "relationship" . Those were the happy moments, and, I sure did feel happy. But they forgot to say that it could go when you least expected it as well, and now I'm left here hurting.

Long gone were the days when you would look into my eyes, which you would told me that I was only yours (which I really find cute by the way). Gone were the days wherein you teased me . Gone were the days.  I feel taken for granted. I feel worthless. And for that I am hurt, and still hurting.

Believe it or not,  I'm not angry with you, and it's quite impossible for me to have anger towards you for at some point I really did love you.  Maybe I will forever love you because you are the first one I have ever loved this way virtually and had hoped that you were going to be the last. But reality hits me that it won't happen, and for that I am hurt. I know deep inside me I cannot unlove you,  I just have to learn how to love you in a different way now. And for that, I am hurt and still hurting.

I cannot blame you for everything. And I cannot blame myself as well. You became busier (or so as you have told me), and I was... well, Miss Understanding. Who was I to complain if we never were, and our situation was very much complicated? 

I'm not angry for what has happened or for what you did to me, but I am hurt and still hurting. There is a difference there. To be honest, at that time I was a girl who was craving for some romance but scared as hell to let my guard down because I know how it feels like to be hurt. Especially with a guy like you who I know  has the charm that would attract any girl passing by. You may not have realized that it was only with you I took risks, it was only with you I dared to do things I have never done before, it was only with you I envisioned life with till my last breath. But now I am just another girl whom you did not even give a chance to get to know well. In short, I am just another girl added to your history list, and for that, I am hurt... and still hurting.

And yet, I wish you well and happy.

This is not Goodbye

 

And then, I'll spend my day in reminiscence,
To all the memories we made.
Thinking about all of our old conversations,

Remembering all of our sweet words,
Crying over all of our harsh fights.
I'll go over how it all started,

 And how it all ended,
And how I pretended that it's all actually over for me,
And how I cried nights after nights.

 Till, one day I finally decided to stop hurting over someone who doesn't care;
Till I put my foot down.
And I was free.